I shredded 3 out of 6 journals and I am still definitely not finished. I wish I would’ve saved the entry I am about to mention because it was CRAZY!
I was in a low carbohydrate (20g or less a day – do NOT try it. It is extremely dangerous) diet from the end of Dec 2003 until Aug/Sept 2004 in which I went from 325 to 255-260. (I was 260 when I was about 6 weeks pregnant) meaning I lost 70+ pounds in just 8 months or so (I did a lot of cheating in Aug & Sept but still lost weight – no idea how)
Well.. I read through some entries before shredding and WOW. Sometime in July/August 2004 I wrote a dramatic entry because I ate… 1/4-1/2 of a snickers bar.
I was cursing up a storm, so mad because someone in my house left part of a snickers bar in the refrigerator and I gave in and ate it. I said something like “why the F do people leave junk in the refrigerator knowing Im trying to lose weight.” blah blah blah “I’m so ‘flippin’ fat I need to lose weight and I ate that Flippin snickers bar” blah blah blah… you get the point. *Note when I said F or flippin’ that was a curse word. I used to curse A LOT back then. I don’t curse at all now – thank God*
And I’m reading this as well as all the other old entries and I’m like “Hold on! Whose this? Who wrote this? I was so stupid (for lack of a better word) and pretty dramatic.” When I say dramatic I mean stress for little things, over-exaggerating.. or at least that’s how I see it now.
God works in us. He even works on the little things and sometimes we don’t even realize. I didn’t remember I was so obsessed with food and losing weight that I would put myself down for being “so fat and ugly”. I thank God He freed me from that obsession. Boy, was I crazy about bugging out for not even half of a snickers bar.
God is good!
