1:44am as I type this. Usually that will not be a big surprise. Well, I originally went to sleep about an hour ago.
Had this crazy nightmare about my dad saying he wasn’t feeling so well and fainted and became unconscious. I tried calling 911 and the house phone had no dial tone. I hurried and grabbed my cell phone. Next thing I know it is a few hours later and it is as if I have no idea what happened because it was day time a minute ago (or at least it felt that way in the dream). I try calling again and the 911 operator could not understand what I was trying to say. I tried explaining what had happened and all she said was “oh, you were the one bugging out and yelling on the phone earlier.”
Almost all of my dreams feel oh so real; but this one was probably the realest so far; definitely the realest feeling.
So, (while still sleeping but feeling as if it was happening) I was going to pray and somehow ended up lying on the floor of my room, eyes closed so I didn’t see anything. The devil (or at least I believe it was the devil) told me something. I have no clue what it was, I didn’t understand what it said but I sure enough didn’t care to ask to repeat it! I then called out Jesus name. I yelled to whatever it was trying to talk to me and said “I belong to Jesus and Jesus ONLY, Joshy belongs to Jesus and Jesus ONLY.” (My sons name is Joshua and I call him Joshy.) For a little bit I still felt like I couldn’t move and it felt as if I had no control of my left arm; it was just there. I rebuked it on the name of Jesus; and in a few seconds I started feeling myself sort of go back to my bed as if I was returning to my position without really moving physically, eyes still closed. I wondered if I was still dreaming, wondered what was real. I am NOT going to lie; I was pretty scared. I opened my eyes, got out of bed and prayed. I got back to bed, and then got back out of bed to pray for a few more minutes because I was nervous that it would happen again. I felt as if there were very evil spirits around when whatever it was tried speaking to me.
I KNOW I have the power because Jesus is with me; but it is a bit shocking at first to know the devil is trying to talk to me. He tried getting me down and it didn’t work.. now he is trying to talk to me? I am not afraid because I have Jesus by my side and I know I am victorious in His name. I am just shocked at the moment.
I have had a few dreams that have felt real of me rebuking spirits but never have they felt so real and actually heard a voice speak to me. I am shocked; but I have faith and I trust in Jesus! God is an amazing God and I KNOW He is by my side. I know He is with me always!
Just now I had typed the paragraph above with more detail and it deleted most of it. Sometimes my keyboard is a bit ghetto but not like that. I know the devil is mad because I belong to Jesus. I am sure the devil gets mad every time I try to help someone know Jesus. Now I can say I do not care! I will continue my walk with Jesus; I will continue to get closer to God. With God I have it all.
I have wanted to pray every morning and every night but sleepiness gets the best of me many times. Over an hour ago being one of those times. Not anymore; I will pray every morning and night no matter how I feel. Also, I am not usually a morning person. I might wake up at 8am without an alarm or anyone waking me up but never at 5:30am or 6:00. For a few days I have been waking up around those times. I truly believe it can be Jesus waking me up so I can take time to talk with Him because He knows I desperately need to. I need Jesus in my life more every minute that passes.
My father and I do not have the best relationship. I don’t remember us ever having a real conversation about how we are doing or feeling. EVER. I do not feel comfortable just going up to him and talking to him about God. I will pray about our relationship getting better; and will also pray for him to accept Jesus. I am also praying for his health. He is an older man already, has diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. If you would be so kind to pray for him that would be absolutely amazing!
As I type this I can’t help but tear up almost crying because Jesus is so amazing. I feel for everyone who has not accepted Jesus. I cannot come up with words to describe how great is His love for us and how good God truly is.
